The Bully serves the Bullied

On one hand, given my past, it is making me very uncomfortable to have my appetite absolutely out of control the past few days. On the other hand, I know I need to put back on a few of the pounds I have lost over the last several weeks.  The rational side of me knows that my body is like “Ummmm hello?  Can we please eat now?”  But the former fat girl in me is completely freaking out.

Yesterday I felt like my appetite was returning back to normal.  Interested in food again but not constantly hungry.  That was until about 3:30.  At first I had a little snack

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Then a little bigger snack.

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This time I measured everything out so I wouldn’t over snack again and ruin dinner.

After this snack failed to satisfy me, I gave up.  On the bright side, the tortilla chips and hummus are gone and I wasn’t hungry anymore!  Annoyed

This morning I feel like my appetite is a little more normal.  I struggled to finish my oats,

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but I knew I needed to finish them so I wouldn’t be hungry an hour later.  I also wanted to be sure to get a good breakfast in because I am going to get out and enjoy this beautiful sunshine and “warmth” (only 40 degrees!) on a run.  I am planning on trying to increase my distance a little.  My legs and tush are super sore from Shred-It yesterday, so I am going to say it was a good workout, just light on the cardio.

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I have to share something that has been a such a huge help in our home recently.  As a mother of boys I have no shortage of carnage around here and apparently this is not uncommon.  I have found a site that has been such a source of comfort and encouragement for me. It has made me see that I am not alone in this work of raising boys.

The MOB Society

As a woman, I struggle to understand boys.  I don’t get the loud noises, the rough play, the fascination with Legos and video games.  The aversion to good personal hygiene.  The expression of affection by passing gas on each other, hitting & wrestling.  I can nurture them like a beast but when it comes to really understanding them…..not so much.  I feel so blessed to have two amazing boys who are really really wonderful.  They are smart, healthy and don’t have any behavior issues what-so-ever.

I refuse to accept the notion that “boys will be boys”.  No, I am raising my boys to be gentlemen, respectful men of God, ones who open doors and pay for dinner, ones who bring flowers for no reason, ones who are chivalrous, have manners, ones who will respect women and love them for the amazing creatures they are, ones who respect others, are kind and gentle in their ways, ones who put other’s needs before their own.

One of the issues we have is that the older brother likes to bully the younger brother.  It has been going on for what seems like forever & I have zero tolerance for it.  I can not stand rude & condescending comments.  Even though Aidan is just 5, I do not want him growing up feeling “less than”.  As parents we use our words to build up our children.  They get so much negativity thrown at them from the world.  We have the responsibility to do damage control and make sure they know how important they are regardless of what the world says.  So, I don’t need additional help from within! We have tried talking, reasoning, punishing, guilt,  none of it has worked.  It all came to a boiling point this last weekend.

Two weeks ago Aidan got a donut he didn’t like and threw it away.  Luke saved his so that he could have it for breakfast the next morning.  While Luke was eating his donut, he was adamant about being sure Aidan knew how much he was enjoying it.

“Hey Aidan, look, I’m eating my donut.”

Aidan really didn’t care.

“Mmmmmm this donut sure is good! Aidan…..MY donut is good!”

That pushed the “Crazy Mommy Button”.  After a looooooong lecture I had a brilliant idea!

“Luke, because of that rude behavior, you now get to SHARE your delicious donut with your little brother.”

Needless to say someone was not happy. <—–understatement.

I explained that a nice person would have had this thought pattern.

“I feel sad that Aidan got a crummy donut yesterday, I think I will share mine.”

The Bully Serves the Bullied

Last week I saw on the MOB Facebook page that bullying among brothers is not uncommon.  The way a lot of mothers handle it is by implementing a rule called “The Bully Serves the Bullied.”

Knowing how well the donut situation worked, I decided to try it in other areas.

Last Sunday Luke made fun of Aidan over a mistake he made on a video game that caused him to set his house on fire.

“You SET your house on FIRE!!! HAHAHAHAHA”

The next thing I knew Aidan was on top of Luke punching him, screaming and in tears!

I am laughing hysterically about it now but it was quite alarming to see my sweet and gentle Aidan completely flipping out!  Jeremy was having to hold him back from beating the mess out of Luke.  Aidan didn’t get in trouble because as I told Luke,

“It serves you right.  What do you expect from him?  You push him and push him and push him…..it was inevitable that one day he would push back.”

Now don’t get me wrong, we did talk to Aidan about hitting and controlling our anger but seriously…..the kid puts up with a lot….A LOT  from his older brother.

So…..since the “incident” Luke has had to tickle Aidan’s back twice, read him a book and pick out his clothes.  It has been difficult to get Luke to take it seriously and I have even had to take his iTouch away but I am seeing how it is going to make a difference.  He is learning and being humbled a little more each time he has been rude or disrespectful.   I am loving this new form of “discipline”.  Everyone wins!   Maybe one day he will quit picking on his baby brother all together.   One can only hope.

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