I am struggling today ya’ll.  I was good until I saw Aidan’s teacher.  I hugged her and then we both started crying as the feelings of helplessness arose once again.  I am trying with all my strength to NOT BE AFRAID.   Afraid for my own children who are innocently going about their day while I am spending every moment seeking comfort in Christmas music and constant prayer.  I didn’t realize today would be so hard.   I go through moments of peace and moments of sadness.  Needless to say I can’t wait to go get my babies today!!!!

It took a while to get an appetite worked up but I made a yummy lunch today!  I had an apple and a cheese stick with a piece of turkey wrapped around it….no picture, sorry….it was as I was trying to decide what I wanted…an apple is always a good way to start a meal.

photo 3

Carrots, hummus and sweet potato chips.  I had already eaten some before this picture but trust me there were more chips and carrots eaten!!!

Here’s your random silly photo for the day.

Mom: Take a picture with me

Luke: OK!

photo 2

I need to get some of my to-do list done but I am having a hard time getting motivated and moving forward.  Just thinking about the parents. Parents who won’t be able to give their babies their Christmas gifts that I am sure are already purchased and in a secret place. It paralyzes me.  I must though.  I must not live with a troubled heart.  Sometimes the very thing you don’t want to do is the thing that will make you feel better.  I must overcome evil with good.  Romans 12:21.  So I will go wrap my precious children’s gifts and maybe bake them some cookies.  I will pray for those parents who can’t and thank God for mine over and over and over.




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